I started this blog 11 years ago tomorrow with the intent of keeping myself accountable during my fitness journey. Funny thing about journeys, they never seem to end. I weighed 236 pounds, the heaviest I had ever been, I was uncomfortable in my clothes and my skin, and I was thoroughly disgusted with myself. This blog certainly helped me chronicle what I went through, and It took two years, but I lost damn near 60 pounds, settled in at 180, and I was content for two years, for the most part. I took before and after pictures and I bared all, well, almost all. But I never created the physique I truly wanted, I thought I was as fit as I was going to get, and decided to stop being so strict with food. I didn’t want to manage my life anymore, I just wanted to live it. The one positive was falling in love with exercise. And then in the summer of 2021, I fell out of love with it. Despite my love/hate relationship and failures with proper nutrition, I managed to maintain an exercise regimen … until … the move to the PNW. I’ve tried in fits and starts. Each time, something has gotten in the way … life, COVID, work …
My most recent regular doctor described me as a yo-yo when it comes to my weight, but I think rollercoaster is more accurate. Since, 2013, my weight, if charted out completely and accurately, would be one long sine wave, or a craggy mountain range. I have experienced three major downward cycles along this journey – down to 180 in December 2014, down to 177 in March 2018, and 205 in July 2021. By September 2021, I was up to 220, and by December of last year, I was over 230. I hit a new all-time high of 237 a year ago tomorrow. I haven’t been under 220 since October 2021 … until this week … 218 even today.
I’ve written a few times in recent years about how I was rebooting my fitness journey, starting over, etc., and how I was mad at or disgusted with myself, yet again. During my ups and downs, I vacillated between frustrated and judgmental. I’m not going to rehash all the setbacks, injuries, catastrophes, and whatnots, because they’re all right here in the blog for you to read. This blog has become more creative outlet than fitness journey chronicle. It’s time to get back to the latter. There’s a reason it’s called The Jerry Project (I came up with Get the Knaak three years later), it’s because I am a project, a work in progress.
Food is a constant battle. That’s where my real problem lies. I can lament that our food in America is broken and we are encouraged to snack mindlessly while consuming our chosen form of video entertainment while we continue to become a willfully ignorant electorate, but this isn’t that kind of party. Food is an issue for most Americans for a host of socioeconomic reasons. But I don’t feel like getting that deep … today.
Someone asked me recently what kind of diet I have employed to lose roughly 19 pounds since June. None, really. I am just eating less, exercising more and more often, and I now have a job (since early December) that requires me to be on my feet 4-7 hours per shift. Sure, Adkins is still around, Weight Watchers (or whatever they’re calling it this week), and new things like Ozempic and Noom.
In December of 2014, I wrote, “There is no easy answer, magic pill, or elixir. Diet and exercise. Self-discipline. Hard work. These are the words that ring true. If you find yourself obese, overweight, or even just carrying a few extra pounds, read my blog entries, see where I have come from and you’ll know it’s nothing but good old-fashioned sweat and moderation when it comes to food that got me here and that’s the answer for you. Get off your ass, eat right, and work hard and you’ll lose what you want to lose. You’ll look how you want to look.”
That last sentence may be the one that doesn’t ring true. However, you can come to peace with how you look, and that’s something I’m still chasing.
Recently, I posted my favorite fall/winter seasonal songs as I made the argument for separating seasonal and Christmas songs. For numerous reasons, Baby It’s Cold Outside, which is not even a Christmas song, will not be on this list. We can discuss it all you like, but I just don’t think it’s appropriate anymore. As I mentioned in the previous entry, I am curious to know in what year these songs were written, recorded, and released. Many of them are just flat-out timeless.
I, again, enjoy the original definitive version of these songs, and I really don’t care for any “new” Christmas music. I make rare exceptions. Since we went early with the seasonal songs this year, we’ll post this now so you have plenty of time to get in the Christmas spirit.
Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree
Brenda Lee recorded this song when she was all of 13 years old and it was released in 1958. I enjoy the rockabilly sound. One of the more popular Christmas tunes, it hit the Billboard charts more than once.
Silver Bells
When I was a kid, I loved the Bob Hope Christmas specials, mainly to see the Playboy (later Associated Press) college football all-star team. I eventually learned about Hope and his efforts to entertain the troops. I also learned to appreciate Hope’s humor and his legacy. On every Christmas special, Hope would perform a duet of Silver Bells. The song was written by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans and released in 1950.
It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
It may as well be a Christmas anthem. Upbeat and festive, this song, made famous by numerous singers, heralds the arrival of the Christmas season. I couldn’t have this list without something from Mr. Christmas himself, Andy Williams. Williams made Christmas his own cottage industry in Branson, Missouri. He too was known for television Christmas specials.
Mistletoe
This is my one exception when it comes to newer Christmas music. Colbie Caillat co-wrote this with Mikal Blue and Stacy Blue in 2007. I love this tune. I am a fan of Caillat’s music and this song has a story and a touch of melancholy to it that I really like.
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
Another Christmas anthem that rings in the season, this song was written in 1951 by Meredith Wilson. Numerous artists including Bing Crosby, Perry Como, Johnny Mathis, and more recently, Michael Bublé, have recorded versions of this classic. His Christmas album from a few years ago is a real treat.
Santa Claus and His Old Lady
When I was a disc jockey with Armed Forces Radio, we would start the season with one Christmas song an hour and build up the frequency as December 25 approached. I discovered Cheech and Chong’s Santa Claus and His Old Lady, played it for the first time, and fell out of my chair. More spoken word performance than a song, it’s hilarious.
Christmas in Hollis
Okay, I lied. There’s another newer, original song I like. I grew up on hip hop music and one of the first groups of which I became a fan was Run DMC. And yes, they did a Christmas song. It has an infectious hook and a great beat. It’s different and a sign of the times, 1987 to be exact, the year I graduated high school.
Little Drummer Boy
I am not a big fan of this song, but Bing Crosby and David Bowie combined for an unexpected version of the song on Crosby’s last Christmas special, and I just had to include it. Katherine Kennicott Davis wrote the tune in 1940 and it was first recorded by the Trapp Family Singers in 1951.
Carol of the Bells
The song to which everyone sets their computerized outdoor lights display, and the only song of its kind that I like. Written by Mykola Leontovych and Peter J. Wilhousky in 1914, I prefer the Trans Siberian Orchestra version.
The Christmas Song
Written in 1945 by Robert Wells and Mel Tormé (The Velvet Fog), this one has become an endearing Christmas classic. Covered by countless artists, this song evokes images of warm Christmas wishes. I prefer Nat King Cole’s version.
I’ll Be Home for Christmas
I spent 10 years in the United States Navy and I spent many a Christmas away from home. I also traveled quite a bit for the profession I spent 20 years in, and missed a few Christmases working. This song hits home for numerous reasons. Written by Kim Gannon and Walter Kent in 1943, it was recorded by Bing Crosby the same year. I like Frank Sinatra’s version.
A Holly Jolly Christmas
I just had to have something from Burl Ives. Written by Johnny Marks in 1962 and included as part of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Ives recorded the definitive version. This is one of the more popular songs for current artists to cover.
White Christmas
I’ll end this list with what has become my favorite Christmas song. I don’t like musicals, can’t stand them, but a few years ago I finally gave White Christmas a shot and I was hooked. The song, written by Irving Berlin, debuts in 1942’s Holiday Inn, but it became a staple when Bing Crosby’s hit musical of the same name took off in 1954. This is one of the most popular songs of all time. Here is Bing Crosby with Frank Sinatra.
The last time I refreshed this we were just starting to come out of the pandemic and returning to pre-COVID travel volume. Now, news outlets across the country are reporting that we’re seeing a record number of travelers this week. According to The Business Journals, “AAA estimates that 49.1 million will drive more than 50 miles for the holiday, another 4.7 million people will fly and 1.5 million will travel by boat, train or other means. The 55.3 million total travelers is the third-highest since AAA started tracking holiday travel in 2000, trailing only 2005 and 2019.”
With all the talk and misinformation about inflation this year, I’m here to tell you we paid $22 for a 17-pound Butterball turkey at Walmart. Don’t believe the hysterical Chicken Little news media about such things.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming …
I spent 10 years in the United States Navy and I remember having to give up numerous holidays. I had a Thanksgiving dinner or two while at sea aboard the USS Saratoga (CV-60) aircraft carrier. I lived in Iceland for the better of three years and celebrated the holidays with friends there. I worked in professional football for 20 years. I spent plenty of holidays on the road, including a few Thanksgivings in Dallas. Maybe my experiences over the past 34 years have desensitized me to not being part of a large family gathering this time of year.
I do get nostalgic this time of year. I can’t help it. I now live in the Pacific Northwest where we do have seasons. It’s cold and wet and I love it. I grew up in western New York where we had four seasons. This is as close to that weather as I’ve been in more than 20 years. I always enjoyed traveling for work this time of year – places like Pittsburgh, Kansas City, and Chicago were always a treat.
I grew up thinking my Aunt Carole’s (my father’s only sibling) house was out in the country. The drive out to Scottsville, New York, seemed to take forever. It was picturesque as we drove past the horse farms that lined the road. For some reason, I always took note of the rambling white fences that paralleled the road through Pittsford. As we approached the turn-off, empty fields and barns dotted the landscape. The topography, architecture, and open spaces cried country. Sometimes Dad would take the expressway, but I always preferred the scenic route.
The house had once belonged to my grandparents, whom I never knew. My father’s father died in 1959, and my grandmother passed away in 1966, three years before I was born. My grandmother bequeathed the house to her two children – my father and his sister. I don’t know the whole story (it’s really not important) but Dad didn’t want to live in the house, my aunt ended up with it and lived in it with her husband, my Uncle Freddy, for the better part of her life.
The driveway wasn’t paved. A basketball hoop that hadn’t felt the touch of a net in years (if ever) was loosely attached to the front of the rickety detached garage. There was well water. Eventually, a pack of the meanest shepherd mix dogs I’ve ever known took up residence in that garage and adjacent fenced-in yard. You had to walk up a small embankment to get to the well-worn path to the house. I say path because the sidewalk that led away from the house went straight out to the road and did nothing for you if you were coming from the driveway.
This was my Aunt Carole’s house. It was built in 1906 and belonged to my grandparents. I spent many Thanksgivings in this house. This photo is a Google Maps street view from 2012.
My parents and I would carry our dishes to pass, mostly my parents carried them, and I was a lazy ass who couldn’t be bothered with such things as a child. Aside from pies, the only dish I remember Mom making was a sweet dressing made with prunes and apples. Mom made a great pie crust, however, her apple pie filling left a little to be desired. Apple pie filling isn’t supposed to be gray, is it? Don’t get me wrong, it was delicious, it just could have … looked better(?). My aunt made a great apple pie filling that looked the part of golden honey. One year Mom and Aunt Carole combined forces … oh, man, was that a pie. I am partial to apple pie. I hate pumpkin pie, absolutely hate it.
More on pie later.
We had a rather old-fashioned, misogynistic (almost chauvinistic) kind of Thanksgiving, my four first cousins and I. My aunt and her three daughters – Tammy, Debbie, and Shari – toiled in the kitchen with some help from Mom, as we menfolk settled in for a day of feasting and watching football. Aunt Carole would tend to the bird, which I am sure routinely tipped the scales at 22 pounds or more. Dave would arrive later after working much of the day. School friends, later boyfriends, and girlfriends, then husbands/wives, and kids would join us for dinner.
My father, my uncle, my cousin David (when he wasn’t working), my mom, and I (and later other invited guests), eagerly awaited the feasting while watching the Detroit Lions in their annual Thanksgiving matchup. It’s been a tradition for the Lions since 1934. The now unwatchable Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade had already been watched at one house or the other, or we would switch over to football in the middle of it. For whatever reason, I always rooted for the Lions no matter who they played. I still do.
I was a finicky eater as a child. And to this day, there are certain Thanksgiving staples I still don’t like. I won’t touch cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes (yams), or squash. Just give me turkey, mashed potatoes with butter, salad, soft fresh rolls, and Mom’s sweet dressing and I was a happy boy. David would pile his plate a mile high at least three times. My aunt’s army of at least a dozen cats circled like sharks while awaiting the leftovers.
Then there was pie. Apple. Mincemeat. Lemon meringue. Key Lime. Pumpkin. Oh boy, was there pie.
Eventually, we’d settle down and watch the Lions, and maybe we’d catch some of the Dallas Cowboys game (while Uncle Freddy napped in an easy chair), and have more turkey or pie. I never knew the Cowboys game was much of a Thanksgiving tradition (it has been since 1966) – I would learn later that they were as much of a tradition as the Lions. My cousins and I sometimes ended the day with board games. If I was feeling adventurous, and the ground was covered with snow, I’d go sledding in the dark and careen through the scrub brush.
We’d have as few as eight or nine, and as many damn near 20 for Thanksgiving dinner. As I got older, many of us took up smoking as a habit and we’d crowd on the enclosed porch (healthy) if it was too cold to smoke outside (I have since quit).
The house itself had a distinct aroma (like old furniture and books), it was charming in some parts, dilapidated in others. It always seemed to be organized chaos. It certainly had something after the wood-burning stove was installed in the living room. Sometimes it felt like a sauna, even in the dead of winter. If it got cold, my uncle would just throw another log on.
All four parents are gone now, they all passed away within a few years of each other in the mid-to-late-2000s. All that’s left of those Thanksgivings are memories. We didn’t take many photos of those events, despite my father’s shutterbug tendencies. I couldn’t find any pictures of Thanksgivings past in my collections. There could be slides somewhere, I’m still a little bit of a lazy ass. Maybe my cousins have some.
We weren’t rich people – far from it. Lower middle class if I had to put us in a tax bracket. We certainly were not the embodiment of the Norman Rockwell painting. But we did it this way every year with very few exceptions. As I mentioned, I was in the Navy for 10 years, so I missed some. But when I did get back and attend, it was like I had never left.
Say what you want about what we did, how we did it, or how estranged we are now. These were our Thanksgivings. We enjoyed them and each other.
I reset the trip-o-meter on a 1997 drive from my parents to my aunt’s house. I had to know how far it was. I had driven out there a few times on my own as an adult. I still thought of it as the “country.” As I got older, it became less and less rural and more and more suburban. To me, that’s the saddest part aside from the dissolution of the get-togethers altogether.
Nine miles. An online driving directions site says just over 13. Not quite over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house or somesuch.
You know what? I’ll always remember it as a drive in the country to Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt’s house. Those fences and horse farms will always line Route 31, and that barn a few hundred yards from the corner of Scottsville Road and Chili-Wheatland Townline Road will always signal the turn.
Those were our Thanksgivings and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I miss them, I have to admit.
Since everyone is so keen on starting Christmas so soon, and re-gifting is such a thing these days, I thought I would recycle a piece I wrote a few years ago. I will not succumb to Christmas Creep, but the temperature has dropped, the days are getting longer, and we’re on the backside of Halloween, so I guess we can start with SEASONAL songs.
Something struck me as odd a couple of years ago. I do love Christmas music and I prefer the traditional or definitive versions … and in many cases that means the original. I also started to wonder when some of these songs were written because of the myriad musical styles represented. I was listening to Holiday Traditions on SiriusXM in December 2019 and I realized that many songs we identify as “Christmas” songs are actually seasonal and have nothing to do with Christmas. That doesn’t mean I like them any less, they just deserve their own list. So, I decided to split them up.
Here are my favorite fall/winter seasonal songs.
Winter Wonderland
Winter Wonderland, written in 1934 by Felix Bernard and lyricist Richard Bernhard Smith, has been recorded by countless artists over the years. It’s a fun, upbeat song that we all know and can sing by heart. I prefer Johnny Mathis performing this one.
My Favorite Things
I am not sure how this song, most famously performed by Tony Bennett, got to be associated with Christmas. Perhaps the visuals and references place it around Christmastime. It originated in 1961 with Julie Andrews on The Garry Moore Show’s Christmas special. Andrews also performed it in The Sound of Music, both on Broadway and in the film. Written by Rodgers and Hammerstein, this has become a seasonal jazz favorite.
Happy Holiday
This is another song that is commonly associated with Christmas although it was written for a movie that encompasses all holidays. Written by Irving Berlin and performed by Bing Crosby and Martha Mears in the 1942 film Holiday Inn (and yes, the hotel chain was named after the film), this version references the holiday-themed hotel Crosby’s character opens.
Sleigh Ride
This is another song that I really don’t know why it became associated with Christmas. It is my favorite fall/winter seasonal song and Johnny Mathis’ version is the one I prefer. This great tune has been recorded by countless artists as well. Written by Leroy Anderson in 1948, Sleigh Ride is considered an orchestra standard and it was first recorded by Arthur Fiedler and the Boston Pops in 1949. Mitchell Parish added the lyrics in 1950. I usually try to listen to this one first to kick off my holiday music listening season (which doesn’t start until the day after Thanksgiving).
Jingle Bells
There’s a theme here. I have no earthly idea how this song became associated with Christmas either. It just might be the oldest seasonal song that surfaces during the holidays. Written by James Lord Pierpont in 1857, zipping along in a one-horse open sleigh might have been the preferred method of transportation during the winter months when the song was composed, although it was supposed to be a Thanksgiving song. Numerous variations of the lyrics have been recorded over the years, including what would be considered politically incorrect (by today’s standards) references and accents regarding winter in Mexico most notably recorded by the Glenn Miller orchestra. Let’s go with Ol’ Blue Eyes.
Marshmallow World
This song was practically tossed on the scrap head of forgotten seasonal songs until SiriusXM resurrected it, and when it was used in a commercial a few years ago. Perhaps the best version was recorded by Dean Martin. Written in 1949 by Carl Sigman and Peter DeRose, the song celebrates simply playing in the snow.
Let it Snow
Written by Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne in 1945, this song doesn’t exactly celebrate snow, rather extols the virtues of staying in and getting cozy. Since this list is pretty male heavy, let’s go with the great Doris Day for this one.
I originally wrote this piece about three years ago and I thought it was time to revisit it, especially now that fall and Spooky Season 2023 have arrived. Plus, Stephen King celebrated his 76th birthday just a few short days ago. His new novel Holly just dropped September 5 and I had to do some reading to get ready for it. “I just love Holly,” King told NPR in an interview. “I wish she were a real person and that she were my friend because I’m so crazy about her. She just walked on in the first book that she was in, Mr. Mercedes, and she more or less stole the book.”
I first met the character Holly Gibney in Mr. Mercedes. I enjoyed the story but never went back to the Bill Hodges trilogy even though I owned the books. Holly is a key figure in the novel The Outsider, showing up halfway through the story and taking over as the narrative driver. She gets her own story in the novella If It Bleeds, the title story of a four-novella collection. King decided to give Gibney her own stand-alone novel with the aforementioned Holly. I felt the need to reread Mr. Mercedes, The Outsider, and If It Bleeds, and tackle Finders Keepers and End of Watch before I could read Holly. I started toward the end of August and it took roughly three weeks, and I read them in order. Holly’s story arc was a masterful bit of storytelling. I then went on to reread the other stories in the If It Bleeds collection. I’m glad I did that too because I now understand The Life of Chuck when I did not the first time I read it.
When I landed my one and only publishing contract (to date), although I knew I would be expected to (and wanted to) write a series, I did not see the need for a series name. In fact, I didn’t want to put the novels under that kind of umbrella. However, my publisher won the debate and I acquiesced. I wanted to be more like King with connected stories in a shared universe. Very few of his stories fall under a series heading, the Bill Hodges Trilogy and the Dark Tower Series are the only two that come to mind, and maybe the serialized Green Mile. Yes, several are considered part of the Castle Rock stories, but they are not labeled as such. The point is, to truly get Holly Gibney and understand the character and her story, you have to read all six stories (in order). Perhaps something only I find odd, The Outsider is the best of the six. They are all dark and disturbing (and well-written and entertaining), but I have read that book twice now, and I had physical reactions both times.
The Outsider has been adapted as a limited series on HBO MAX, and Mr. Mercedes is a three-season series on Peacock. The Outsider was great, and I have only watched the first season of Mr. Mercedes. Two different actors have portrayed Holly Gibney – Justine Lupe and Cynthia Erivo.
Written and published April 2020 Updated September 25, 2023
As a published author, it stands to reason that I would have influences. Truth be told, I have several in many different genres. And, as an avid reader, I have favorite authors. Due to numerous reasons and events, I feel compelled to write about one of them – Stephen King. Widely considered a “horror” writer, King is so much more than that. What I don’t think gets acknowledged enough is the creation, and the care and feeding of the King multiverse.
I believe that the first cinematic universe was created by Universal Films in 1925 (some might even include The Hunchback of Notre Dame with Lon Chaney in 1923) and it extended into the 1950s. From the Phantom of the Opera to the Creature from the Black Lagoon, Universal created a world of monsters – human and otherwise – with far-reaching influence. Universal used literature for some of its stories, most notably Dracula and Frankenstein, And, invariably, some of their movies were novelized.
The second such “multiverse” began soon after in the comic book world. DC Comics, and eventually Marvel, published interconnected tales and crossovers for decades. I am by no means an expert when it comes to comic books. I will not pretend to be able to explain. Marvel’s recent cinematic universe (MCU) caused DC to try to emulate it, and Universal even got into the fray with their failed Dark Universe and a reboot of their classic monster movies. What DC and Universal couldn’t replicate was the organic, viral nature of the MCU. The MCU started with Iron Man with Robert Downey, Jr., and spawned a total of 22 interconnected films filled with origin stories, crossovers, and epic battles to save the Earth and mankind. Whether or not Marvel intended to create this multiverse in the manner in which it did, I have no idea. But what I do know is, planned or not, the MCU worked because of its organic nature. It never really appeared forced with the exception of a few of the films. Audiences were introduced to numerous characters and heroes, for better or worse, folks wouldn’t have sought out for themselves.
In the early 1970s, a fiction writer from Maine began what I think is the most interconnected, intricate multiverse ever created in entertainment. These connections are not merely asides or passing references because many of the stories take place in the same geographic region. The world that Stephen King has created is truly remarkable and it all started with a bullied high school student with telekinetic abilities. Movie adaptations, comic books, and TV mini-series round out the King multiverse. The man has said that he doesn’t plot his novels, but there has to be some level of planning that goes into the interconnectedness of everything he does. Whether it’s characters, locations, villains, or just references – it sure looks like everything he has ever produced is tied together.
There are a couple of great diagrams and flowcharts you can find online that illustrate my point. I found them when I read the first story in the Dark Tower series, The Gunslinger. There was discussion about what the stories of the Dark Tower were tied to. Further investigation brought me to the larger charts.
King, now in his 70s, has written more than 60 novels, more than 20 novellas, and dozens of short stories. His books have sold more than 350,000,000 copies. From a sales standpoint, he is one of the most successful writers of all time, up there with William Shakespeare, Agatha Christie, Danielle Steele, Sidney Sheldon, Dean Koontz, Jackie Collins, and Nora Roberts.
Not everyone likes King’s writing and the film and TV adaptations are hit-and-miss. He has branched out into different genres and I think his writing is just as strong regardless of the subject matter. Again, there are those who view him as strictly a “horror” writer. My only complaint is that sometimes, believe it or not, King doesn’t go far enough.
I wrote something when I finished IT. In that post, I mentioned that I haven’t read all of King’s works. Consciously or unconsciously I have decided to at least read every one of his novels. However, he keeps publishing short story and novella collections and I think his short stories are fantastic.
I was first introduced to King as a kid with the movie adaptations of Carrie, ‘Salem’s Lot, The Shining, and The Dead Zone. Creepshow was sandwiched in there. But I didn’t read anything of his until much later. I think the first thing of his that I read was the Night Shift collection of short stories. The funny thing is as I try to go back and read novels for movies I’ve seen, it’s difficult because I have too many preconceptions and I know the story, or at least I think I do. I do enjoy seeing the differences between the words on the page and the scenes on the screen. I prefer to read the book first and then watch the film.
After the release of Holly and my recent King binge and picking up a copy of Misery at a used book sale, I now own 47 Stephen King volumes. I thought I would take a moment to update the list of King’s works that I own and what I’ve read so far knowing I still have a long ways to go. You might be surprised to know that The Dark Half is my favorite. An asterisk denotes what I’ve read.
“It’s a cash and carry world. Sometimes you pay a little. Mostly it’s a lot. Sometimes, it’s everything you have.”
― Stephen King, Storm of the Century
Stand-Alone Novels (heh)
Holly* Misery Cell Bag of Bones* Dreamcatcher* Hearts in Atlantis IT* The Outsider* Christine The Institute Sleeping Beauties* Billy Summers* Fairytale Firestarter Needful Things* Pet Sematary* The Dark Half* Lisey’s Story The Stand Carrie* ‘Salem’s Lot*
Trilogy
Mr. Mercedes* Finders Keepers* End of Watch*
Duology
The Talisman Black House
The Shining Doctor Sleep*
Opus
The Gunslinger* The Drawing of the Three The Wastelands Wizard and Glass Wolves of the Calla
Hard Case Crime
The Colorado Kid* Joyland* Later*
Short Story Collections
Bazaar of Bad Dreams Everything is Eventual Night Shift* Skeleton Crew Nightmares and Dreamscapes* Full Dark No Stars*
Novella Collections
If It Bleeds* Four Past Midnight* Different Seasons
Non-Fiction
Danse Macabre On Writing*
I have also read Gerald’s Game and Revival but I no longer own copies of either. Of the 47 volumes I own, I have read 26. Add Gerald’s Game and Revival to that and it’s 28.
I’ve seen quite a few of King’s movie and TV adaptations, several without reading the book that spawned them. The quality is all over the board – even from the first film to the sequel. Carrie, The Dead Zone, The Shining, The Green Mile, The Shawshank Redemption, IT: Chapter One, The Outsider, the original Pet Sematary, 1408, and Creepshow are among the best. IT: Chapter Two, The Dark Tower, the new Pet Sematary (it has its moments), and Maximum Overdrive are among the worst. Christine, Sleepwalkers, and Doctor Sleep are worth a watch. There are plenty more. I’m not sure how I feel about Sometimes They Come Back.IT with Tim Curry as Pennywise and Salem’s Lot with David Soul are worth a re-visit.
King has dabbled in fantasy, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, demonic clowns, rabid dogs, possessed cars, global pandemics, and all kinds of other baddies. What always seems to come through in his writings and films is that the human monster is the worst of all.
Stephen King isn’t for everyone, but I wanted to share why I enjoy his works and it does seem like the multiverse he has created – purposely or organically – is far beyond what any other writer or movie studio has concocted. Interested in his work but you really haven’t given him a try? There are many entry points to King’s multiverse.
I’ll try to consume what he has created, in no particular order. However, because of King, I have no desire to live in or even visit Maine because that’s where all the scary things are. He has been a tremendous influence on my reading and viewing choices, and certainly on my writing.
As the entire internet has stolen this story without giving me proper credit, I thought I’d post it here. I uncovered the truth about the fastest pre-NFL Draft 40-yard dash time ever recorded. Me (thanks to Bo Jackson himself). I did it. Yet, countless people have lifted elements of this story and the quotes I worked hard to get. Hell, the story isn’t up on Raiders.com anymore. I wrote this sometime in late February, early March 2018. Good thing I kept a copy. This story, about how Jackson became a Raider, still exists, however.
The Truth of Bo Jackson’s 1986 40-Yard Dash Time
February/March 2018
By Jerry Knaak
As the 2018 NFL Scouting Combine rolls on at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, the 40-yard dash once again takes center stage. Since NFL Network began covering the Combine in 2004, the 40-yard dash has become the signature event.
In 2017, University of Washington wide receiver John Ross broke East Carolina running back Chris Johnson’s NFL Scouting Combine 40-yard dash record. Johnson turned in a 4.24 at the RCA Dome in Indianapolis in 2008. Ross ran a 4.22 at the 2017 Combine at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis. Both times were faster than Hall of Fame cornerback and two-sport star Deion Sanders’ official time of 4.27 in 1989.
These truly are amazing, fast times turned in by great athletes. However, the fastest pre-draft 40-yard dash time may very well have been turned in by another two-sport star – Bo Jackson.
Several online sources say that Jackson ran a 4.12 40-yard dash at the 1986 NFL Scouting Combine, known then as the National Invitational Camp, at the Superdome in New Orleans. It was the second full league-wide Combine as we know it today, with the first taking place in Arizona in 1985.
There’s one problem with that. It never happened.
In a Feb. 10, 1986, article, Bob Gretz of The Sporting News wrote that Jackson declined an invitation to attend what was dubbed at the time “The Workout.”
Gretz wrote: “This year, approximately 320 players were scheduled to attend, with various last-minute cancellations and additions. Heisman Trophy winner Bo Jackson — who’s also coveted by pro baseball scouts — declined the invitation. That prompted one NFL scout to crack that they would ‘have to cancel the home run-hitting drill.’”
Dave Raffo, a sports writer with United Press International at the time, wrote that Jackson was “capable of a 4.12 40-yard dash.”
Jackson, a football and baseball star and an accomplished sprinter, played his final collegiate football game Jan. 1, 1986, a 36-16 loss to Texas A&M in the Cotton Bowl. Jackson was named the game’s most outstanding offensive player in a losing effort. The NFL Scouting Combine was held after the Jan. 26 Super Bowl. Numerous Auburn track events were held in January and February. Auburn opened its 1986 baseball season Feb. 26.
When and where did this 4.12 40-yard dash actually take place? Did it actually happen?
Hall of Fame player personnel executive Ron Wolf remembers it taking place indoors at Auburn. He also remembers that it was a hand-timed 4.16.
We decided to ask the man himself.
Jackson recalls that it was an electronically timed 4.13 during what would or could be considered a regional combine or expanded pro day that Auburn hosted. According to Jackson, numerous prospects from several colleges attended. He said that it took place in the indoor bubble at Auburn, there was electronic tape at the start that triggered the clock, and that there was a laser at the finish line of the 40-yard dash.
“The coaches asked me, they said, ‘Bo, we have a bunch of pro scouts here, and it’s 40-yard dash time, they’re having a little combine, why don’t you come in and run a 40 for them, because they really came here in hopes to get you to run a 40 for them,’” Jackson recalled. “‘I’m on my way to track practice, I’ll be running for the next two hours.’ ‘Just come in and appease these people, just come in and run 40 for them.’”
The Heisman Trophy winner said that there wasn’t enough room for him to run the distance properly. He didn’t want to injure himself. According to Jackson, he pulled up with 10 yards to go. His first attempt came in at 4.3.
“‘They said, what if we open the back door?’ My coach had come up to me and said, ‘Give these guys what they want, run through the tape, and go on out the door, you don’t have to stop, run through the finish line,’” Jackson said. “I waited about five minutes to get my breath and they had other people. I got down there, and I took off and ran completely through, I just kept going right out the door and didn’t come back.”
For those of us who recall Jackson running through the tunnel at the end of a 91-yard touchdown run at the Kingdome in Seattle a year and a half later, this 40-yard dash was a precursor of things to come.
After numerous reports of hand-held stopwatch times of 3.9 and 4-flat among the scouts, Jackson said the official timer was consulted.
“They asked the guy that was running the electronic timer,” Jackson said. “They said ‘The big-eye don’t lie, let me see what he got.’ The guy said, ‘There it is boys, go out and catch him if you can.’ It was 4.13.”
Jackson also confirmed that he did not attend the 1986 NFL Scouting Combine in New Orleans.
“I did not go because I was already picked to be the first person to go in the Draft,” Jackson said. “If you’re going to be the first person to go in the Draft, why should you go to a combine and do all of that? It wasn’t built up like it is now, now it’s a TV production, it’s a whole show.”
Jackson was selected with the first overall pick in the 1986 NFL Draft by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers but turned down their reported five-year, $5 million offer. After sitting out a year, his name went back in for the Draft. The Los Angeles Raiders selected him in the seventh round of the 1987 NFL Draft. Jackson signed with the Silver and Black in July and played in his first game Nov. 1, 1987. He did not undergo any testing or timing prior to the 1987 NFL Draft because he was playing baseball with the Kansas City Royals at that time.
Until someone produces evidence to the contrary, we can say that Bo Jackson ran the fastest pre-draft 40-yard dash in recorded history with a time of 4.13 at a pro day/regional combine in February of 1986 at the University of Auburn, because …
My good friend and old Navy buddy Chris Ingalls helps me kick off Season 6 of the Get the Knaak podcast. Join us as we discuss all things pop culture, including books, movies, TV, and music.
This next entry is probably the most frequently-adapted Christmas story of all time. In the tradition of ghost stories told this time of year since the days before a Christmas holiday became a thing, this tale has been told on screen since 1901. From live-action to animation and muppets, this story will endure forever.
2. A Christmas Carol – 1951
Charles Dickens’s timeless ghost story of penance and redemption is the only Dickens work I like. I have always found his stuff verbose and heavy-handed. But, A Christmas Carol is simple, straightforward, and heartwarming.
Reginald Owen set the standard in 1938 and Alistair Sim perfected it in 1951. George C. Scott was well, George C. Scott, in the 1984 version. Even Patrick Stewart has had a turn. There have been numerous adaptations and stage productions, animated versions, dramatic readings, radio presentations, and the Muppets. Recently, Jim Carrey and Guy Pearce have taken up the mantle in various forms.
We all know the story. Ebenezer Scrooge, a miserly, nasty, bitter businessman is visited by the ghost of his deceased business partner Jacob Marley on one cold, blustery, lonely Christmas Eve. Scrooge is warned that he needs to change his ways and learn to keep Christmas and that he will be visited by three spirits to teach him these lessons.
Overnight, the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future drop in on Scrooge, who is reminded of and shown who and what he once was, why he is the way he is, and what he will become (spoiler alert: it’s not good).
The triumvirate of specters is successful and by the end of the story, Scrooge makes a sizable donation to charity, makes up with his estranged nephew, rehires and gives a raise to his assistant, and pledges to provide the funds for his assistant’s son’s medical treatment.
Again, we know the story as Tiny Tim delivers one of Charles Dickens’s most memorable and iconic lines.
My favorite is the 1951 version with Alistair Sim and it is a must-watch. To me the three versions I mention here are the essentials. I don’t care for the animated versions and I have never seen the Muppets version. I don’t like the musical version. I think Sim really captures who and what Scrooge is and he is very believable as he finally sees the light.
As a person who has been described as someone who went bitter at an early age, I can certainly identify with Scrooge. However, it can never be said that I don’t know how to keep Christmas and those close to me know that I can be charitable.
Peter Billingsley (right) and Jeff Gillen in A Christmas Story.
This next entry sure has touched a few nerves in recent memory. I read an article or a blog post, I can’t remember which, vilifying this film. I was stunned by the writer’s condemnation. Whoever said that Christmas stories were required to be tales of redemption (although many are) or teaching moments? Sometimes, these films are just slices of life, moments in time. And that’s what this one is.
3. A Christmas Story – 1983
Peter Billingsley stars as Ralphie, Darren McGavin of Kolchak – The Nightstalker fame – plays his father, and Melinda Dillon (Close Encounters of the Third Kind) plays his mom. You may not know that Zack Ward, who plays bully Scut Farkus, went on to play an Umbrella Corporation mercenary in one of the Resident Evil movies.
Jean Shepherd’s tale of childhood Christmas has become a cult classic thanks to TBS bringing it back as a Christmas day marathon several years ago. The story is set in Indiana in the late 1940s and was actually filmed in Cleveland. You can visit the actual house as it has been transformed into a museum in recent years.
This may be set 20-some-odd years before I was born but I swear it’s my childhood Christmas brought to life on screen. We’re not talking about parallels here, we’re talking about direct correlations.
Now, I could give you the synopsis for the film but I’d rather explain how this movie relates to me or how I relate to it.
First of all – the furnace. Darren McGavin spends a lot of time in the basement battling the wonky furnace while shrouded in a cloud of black smoke. Now, we didn’t have furnace issues but I lived in a duplex for much of my childhood, age 5-14 if I remember correctly, and we had oil heat. As I have mentioned in previous posts, we were poor for a good number of years – not too many but enough. We didn’t always have money for oil and I remember my dad borrowing some from the neighbor and transferring the noxious, black fluid via used plastic milk cartons.
I remember what seemed to be the slow build-up to Christmas while suffering through endless days in the classroom. Trips to see the department Santa Claus were a highlight of the season, not quite the nightmare Ralphie encountered. In my hometown of Rochester, N.Y., Midtown Plaza downtown was the place to go at Christmastime. It was always decked out for the season and the monorail was a must-ride attraction. It’s been dismantled and put away in storage. Sad.
The scene where Ralphie’s father plugs in the Christmas tree lights or the leg lamp or whatever it was into the multiple plug adapter cracks me up every time. I remember such adapters as a kid. We also had those 4,000-candlepower Christmas tree lights too. It’s a wonder we didn’t burn the damn house down. My father hated all things electric. He wouldn’t touch the house wiring, ever. After my electronics training in the Navy, he’d wait until I came home for a visit and ask me to install a light fixture or a ceiling fan. The house he bought when I was 14 still had the original 1920s wiring, complete with a fuse box. I’ll never forget visiting my parents one time when dad had the microwave plugged into the wall with a three-prong to a two-prong adapter. He had the coffee maker, toaster, and miniature nuclear reactor all going at the same time. He smoke-checked that adapter and I had to pull two feet of burnt wire out of the wall so I could install the three-prong outlets he left sitting in the drawer for six months.
Dad never won a major award in the form of a leg lamp but I do remember the weatherproofing we had to do every winter with plastic covering the windows and foam in the air gaps under the doors.
We didn’t have the neighbor’s dogs barge into our house and steal our turkey, but I did get not one, but two BB/pellet guns for Christmas. We won’t discuss what I did with the second one when I was a freshman in high school. I didn’t shoot my eye out but let’s just say the cops were involved.
Perhaps the biggest takeaway from the movie for me is the rush of opening presents on Christmas day. The thrill of coming down the stairs, or entering the living room (I did live in a duplex on one floor) and seeing that Santa had in fact been there was the stuff dreams were made of. As an only child, I always made out like a bandit, money or no money.
When it comes to A Christmas Story, the late 1940s weren’t much different than the 1970s when it came to the Yuletide season. Technology and expensive gadgets hadn’t taken over just yet. Jean Shepherd’s childhood Christmases and mine weren’t all that dissimilar and every time I watch it, I feel like I am home for Christmas.
This is a must-see but I’ll only watch it on Christmas day, and I’ll watch it all the way through uninterrupted at least once. And I won’t watch the new sequel until I watch this one again first.
Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo in Christmas Vacation.
When I was growing up we had specific things we did as a family. We went to my Aunt Carole’s for Thanksgiving. We did our own Christmas Eve and Christmas morning (and usually dinner) and eventually found my way to my aunt’s house for evening festivities. I recall a few New Year’s Eves at my Aunt Bertha and Uncle Bob’s as I suffered Guy Lombardo. And we’d invite a cadre of relatives to our house for Easter. We had a lot of summer birthdays in the family so we’d do a big family picnic to celebrate.
Thanksgiving and Christmas seem to be the two major holidays when it is fashionable to get large groups of family members together. Folks travel from near and far to get “home for the holidays.” And now, in this post-COVID world we find ourselves in, family gatherings are poised to make a comeback.
4. Christmas Vacation – 1989
I am not a big fan of most of the National Lampoon movies, especially the “vacation” flicks. I liked the original, but European Vacation did nothing for me, and the rest, well, seem to be cheap attempts at recapturing the magic of Animal House and the first Vacation.
My favorite doesn’t involve a vacation at all – Christmas Vacation is more of a staycation. The cast is second-to-none in the series. Most people don’t make the connection that Rusty is played by Johnny Galecki of Roseanne and The Big Bang Theory fame. Juliette Lewis is great as Audrey, E.G. Marshall, Beverly D’Angelo, Doris Roberts, Randy Quaid (even though he’s around the bend and not allowed back in the United States these days), and Julia Louis-Dreyfus round out the ensemble. The actress who played Aunt Bethany, Mae Questel, was the original Betty Boop. Christmas Vacation was her last screen appearance.
Chevy Chase has been hosting Q&As and viewings this holiday season some 33 years after its release.
“You set standards that no family event can ever live up to,” Ellen Griswold. I have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about. Nope. I don’t know anyone who would possibly do that. Ahem. There are so many quotable lines in this movie. I could practically live blog or Tweet this movie.
Affable Clark Griswold (Chase) tries to have the ultimate family Christmas complete with parents, in-laws, and the giant Christmas tree the Griswold’s practically froze to death to cut down after a road rage incident with a pair of pick-up truck driving rednecks.
One disaster leads to another as Clark tries to create the ultimate exterior Christmas light display on his house, not just the roof, but his entire house. The bickering parents show up and Clark climbs the ladder to start stapling strands of lights to the shingles.
From the grandfathers asleep in the easy chairs in the living room (very much a reminder of my Uncle Freddy), Ellen and her daughter Audrey arguing about the sleeping arrangements to Clark’s incessant stapling of lights to the house all leads up to the real slapstick and witty repartee to come. Never mind that Clark falls off the roof twice.
The mayhem projected onto the non-Christmas celebrating next-door-neighbors is comedic gold. Todd and Margo (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) are tormented by the Griswold clan and end up fodder for numerous physical comedic tragedies.
Of course, the lights don’t work on the first try and Clark is left astonished and embarrassed. The lights eventually work by accident thanks to Ellen’s mom but more on that in a minute. Clark ends up trapped in the attic and finds a box of home movies and we see where he gets the idea for having the old-fashioned family Christmas.
The lights eventually come on as we watch the electric meter spins out of control. The lights are impressive if you find the sun impressive. But Clark’s dream of an awesome exterior lights display is finally realized much to the chagrin of the local nuclear power plant.
Ellen’s cousin Eddie, his wife, and two of their kids, show up unannounced, Aunt Bethany and Uncle Lewis finally arrive and hilarity ensues. A cat and a Rottweiler wreak havoc throughout the house, a squirrel is discovered in the Christmas tree, and Eddie is…well…Eddie. The “shitter was full” scene where he empties his RV’s chemical toilet into a storm drain while dressed in not much more than a tattered bathrobe cracks me up every time. Eddie’s wife Catherine’s Christmas turkey is bone dry and eats more like bad jerky.
The whole thing ends with a kidnapping as Clark’s boss decides to drop the annual Christmas bonus that Clark was counting on for realizing his dream of installing a swimming pool.
Prior to the committing of a felony, Clark utters my favorite line from any Christmas movie or special. As Clark’s dreams of a swimming pool swirl down the drain and family bickering turns into a knockdown drag-out, Clark proclaims, “We’re going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye!”
This movie speaks to me on so many levels; the sledding scene – I spent many a winter’s day sledding back home in New York; the turkey dinner scene – I have unfortunately experienced a Thanksgiving turkey almost that bad once but I won’t speak ill of the dead. Before moving to the Pacific Northwest, we had a house with a swimming pool and 21-foot vaulted ceilings that could accommodate a Griswold tree.
Chevy Chase is at his best, I believe, in this movie and it resonates with me because of so many of the, albeit disjointed, parallels with my own life. There was that one year my wife electrocuted my cat with the Christmas lights, but he survived, unlike Aunt Bethany’s poor cat.
Mom died in 2006, and Dad passed in 2007, so it’s a decade and a half of Christmases without them in my life. I fondly remember all the ones I did have with them and my Aunt and Uncle and my first cousins. My aunt sold Avon so guess what I got – cologne in decorative decanters. But, she passed away in 2009, and you know what? I’d take some Stetson in a Duesenberg decanter in a second.
I would give anything to have another family Christmas with my folks, aunts and uncles, and cousins. This movie reminds me of those days although mine were much more sedate. The funny thing is, I have become Clark Griswold.
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