The Struggle is Real

F16882_880512648661761_9057451408468084000_nirst of all, thank you all for reading my last blog and for the kind words and well wishes with regard to my mom. She was a beautiful, special lady and I miss her very much. It was an honor to remember her here on my blog.

Another quick update – I am now on Twitter (@GetTheKnaak) and Instagram (jerryknaak). Of course, my second personal Tweet ever (after the obligatory, “hey, I’m here Tweet”), was fitness related.

 

On to the topic at hand.

I am a constant work in progress, hence the theme of the blog – mental, physical, spiritual. This installment is going to focus on purely physical aspects of my journey.

I have often been envious of the contestants on The Biggest Loser and the people chosen for Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition and Extreme Weight Loss. They get coached on exercise and nutrition, receive custom diet plans and get to work out six hours a day. I have also hated the trainers and concept of The Biggest Loser in the same moment. They treat the contests like gum on the bottom of their shoe if they don’t lose enough weight in a week. I have never seen such condescension. I’ve never liked the body shaming this show engages in on a weekly basis. I’m sure it’s part of the process and methodology but I find so much of it unnecessary.

I was obese. I am still technically overweight. At 5’10” tall and almost 47 years old, I probably should weigh 170-175 pounds. My BMI is just a shade north of 25. My body fat is right around 25%. I vary between 183-190 pounds right now. I lost a total of 60 pounds before putting 10 or so back on. Everything I have been reading lately says I need to lose weight and I am finally, 100 percent, unequivocally convinced that I should. I have developed a pretty aggressive exercise program (for me anyway), and although I haven’t been able to run much due to a nagging knee problem, I exercise four-six days a week and I am not achieving the results I want.

Screen Shot 2016-06-04 at 11.33.45 PMThe Men’s Fitness chest and arms workouts I’ve been doing are phenomenal. Last night I was able to complete a leg workout I haven’t been able to do in weeks. I’ll get back to running soon. I got a decent three-miler in the other day in 85-degree heat. I sure do miss running.

What’s my point? What’s the analogy?

Many people have complimented me over the past couple of years after I lost the bulk of my weight. One of the most common I get involves keeping the weight off. I am very proud of myself for managing to keep it off over time. I got to 180 pounds and stayed there for several months. I couldn’t maintain my lowest, 176. The key to my success has been adopting a lifestyle of exercise and better nutrition. I had high cholesterol and triglycerides when I started. Medication took care of that after three months (more on that in a moment).

A scathing New York Times article tore The Biggest Loser apart after studying the after effects of appearing on the show. A group of contests were studied over and time and all those observed regained their weight, some weigh heavier now than their starting weight on the show. Apparently these folks couldn’t maintain the lifestyle, the amount of exercise and the dietary restrictions to keep their weight down.

Screen Shot 2016-06-04 at 11.34.05 PMI wasn’t ever 400 pounds, I didn’t have to slash my calories THAT drastically, and I didn’t have to exercise six hours a day. I was 236, dropped about 1,000 calories a day (not 10,000) and managed 60-90 minutes of exercise per day to lose my 60 pounds. Maybe that’s what made it possible for me to keep the weight off (for the most part).

I have envied those who got the coaching and the nutrition plans. I was jealous of those who were afforded the opportunity to do nothing but exercise for weeks and months on end. All my research and my conversations with people in the know said I was doing it the right way. Slow and steady and trust the process. The rapid weight loss, no matter how you did it, wasn’t sustainable. Well, science has weighed in and that is pretty much the case. I’d like to know if the folks on cable’s Extreme Weight Loss show are able to keep their weight off. The stories are inspirational but I’d love to know the long-term success rate.

I have been watching another show as of late, Fit to Fat to Fit. Trainers all over the country gain an obscene amount of weight so they can go through the weight loss journey with their clients. Initially, the trainer enjoys eating “comfort” food and putting a few pounds on. Once they head toward obesity though, a switch flips and they can’t wait to get back to their former selves. What makes me sick is that these trainers go back to looking fantastic at or near their original weight. I’ve only seen one episode where the trainer couldn’t get back to his original weight and had to live with it and make his peace with it.

Why don’t I look as good? I weigh what they weigh for the most part. Where’s my definition? Where’s my physique?

Well, after having blood work done recently and finding out that cholesterol and triglycerides are through the roof (back on the medication and fish oil) and testosterone is low, no wonder why I can’t get lean.

I know that building muscle and having more muscle helps burn fat. And I have been focused on this aspect of the process. I am sure some of the weight I have put back on is actually muscle. Muscle does weigh more than fat. Muscle is denser than fat. Looks better than fat. Its healthier than fat. But a pound is a pound is a pound.*

nt-12-20-ceBut, the more I read and research the more confused I get. I have a pretty good idea how many calories to eat each day but I don’t know what to eat. Oh sure, everyone says eat clean, get your macro nutrients from real food, cut carbs, lots of protein. But I can’t get the protein I need every day without whey protein shakes. If I tried that with real food, I’d blow my calories for the day by lunch. Other things I read say “oh yeah, you can eat carbs if you’re eating the right ones.” And don’t forget the fat, fat really isn’t bad for you. It’s enough to make my head hurt.

I know people who have dropped a lot of weight only to gain it back. Some of those folks try again and again, while others just quit. I get it. I didn’t get it before but I get it. Science explains it. This makes me grateful for what I have been able to accomplish. But I also know there are reasons why I haven’t been able to achieve my fitness goals. Some are totally me. I like my alcohol and confections (in moderation of course). I find it difficult, a chore even to drink enough water and get enough protein every day. I need more cardio in my life. My favorite form of cardio is very difficult on my body but I would rather run than use a machine and be indoors.

For as much as I exercise and taking my diet into consideration, you’d think I’d look a helluva lot better than I do.

I’m either driven by self-loathing or a dogged determination to achieve some body image ideal. I do feel like I have a purpose but my plan is in a constant state of flux. Maybe it’s time to just suck it up and consult a nutritionist and figure this whole nutrition thing out. I do know I’m better off than those poor folks on those TV shows who couldn’t or wouldn’t maintain the lifestyle. I’ll stick to the diet and exercise and keeping the bulk of the weight off. I feel bad for those people and those like them. I guess I caught my issues in time.

I’ll never say that losing weight was easy, but now I understand why it was so damn hard.

*Got a physics lesson in the comments and corrected my mistake.

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One thought on “The Struggle is Real

  1. Stacy

    I think it’s common sense that the majority of the contestants on The Biggest Loser don’t maintain their dramatic weight loss. They have have to get back to their real lives after the tv show, and that doesn’t include working out 8 hours a day. Although a lot of the contestants so gain back the weight, some do keep off, such as Danni Allen (my personal favorite since she is a Clemson grad) & Joe Ostaszewski. They do a lot for the fitness community and work hard at maintaining a healthy weight. I know that’s not the norm for that show, but it is possible.

    I have done some research of my own muscle weighing more than fat. That’s not true. A pound of muscle and a pound of fat weigh the same, but they do differ in density. This means if you look at five pounds of muscle and five pounds of fat side by side, the fat takes up more volume, or space, than the muscle.

    Keep up the good work.

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