I have lost all the weight I want to lose. I am not going to complain if I lose a few more and give myself a buffer and make 180 pounds my hard ceiling. I tipped the scales at 178.6 pounds yesterday, my lowest recorded weight yet.
I have spent two years trying to reach my goal weight, I have lost almost 60 pounds in doing so and I’m not entirely sure what to do next. My gut, which is the basic problem still, tells me to make a plan and stick to it, kind of like how I lost all this weight in the first place.
Sounds simple enough, right?
I have been accused of doing too much research (um Google), reading too many articles and not listening to sound advice. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.
Fat continues to be the enemy. I may be a lot slimmer and I may weigh a lot less than I did but my muscles are still hiding under a layer of fat and are still made of fat. I read that you can’t get “cut,” that you can only make a muscle bigger or smaller and that what keeps you from having that elusive definition is FAT.
I lift weights three to four days a week, I have found a couple of different workouts of varying degrees of difficulty that I enjoy and I make sure the amount of weight is challenging. I am much stronger than I was, however, my muscles are not hard and much of my hard work is hidden. I know I have abdominal muscles – I can feel them. I see my biceps look great after a good pump. My quads and calves look good if I flex them. But, again, as much as I can see some muscles and what I see looks good when I conjure it, nothing is hard or toned or defined.
My pecs are probably the most visible with regard to obvious change aside from just being slimmer and looking fairly trim. I thought I had pecs some months ago but it was just puffed up fat. My chest actually has man-chest shape now. I can’t say I have a great chest or a large chest, but I can say I have one and that I have shed the “moobs.”
I definitely see that I have lost quite a bit of fat. I see muscles, bones, tendons and ligaments I haven’t seen in years. As I mentioned, I am much stronger. I have more endurance and I can run farther and faster. I can endure an intense 75-minute workout from www.bodybuildng.com. I can do push-ups with good form and I can bend over and touch my toes with relative ease (yes, this is a thing). But there is much more fat to be shred.
I have continue to try to resist fitness envy. Since I have been working out and eating better I pay more attention to folks who are fit than people who are not. I have to remind myself that I am 45, not 25. I have to remind myself that I have 16 years of inactivity and subsequent atrophy to undo. I need to understand that everyone is different and I need to stop comparing myself to other people.
Besides losing weight, feeling better and looking better, I am not sure what else I wanted to accomplish. I don’t know if I have the time in the day to put in the work if I decide to go after what I think I want. Adjusting the diet again is going to be critical and difficult.
Again with the reading. Apparently for maximum fat burning and to facilitate muscle building I should be consuming 1g of protein per pound of body weight. So, I should be eating 180g of protein per day. There’s the rub. That’s not as easy as it sounds when I am still trying to keep my metabolism straight while maintaining this new weight. I guess I have a lot of Whey protein shakes in my future.
I also read that the brain runs on glucose which is why we still crave carbs even though we’re full on a protein-rich meal. So that whole protein/carbs/fat thing crops up again.
I went running for the first time in three and a half weeks, and although my time wasn’t terrible, I may have aggravated my strained calf that had me on the running shelf. What does this have to do with the point I’m going to make further down the screen? It’s hard to do any cardio or leg workouts with an injured leg. No excuses. Just statement of fact. I did a legs workout a few nights ago and it went pretty well. The three-mile run and post-run stretch has me in pain. The hamstring pull is irritated too. So, basically, I’m an idiot.
I think I have decided to try to get the body I want. Good nutrition and exercise are part of my life now. There is no going back. Maintenance would be great. I think I am going to be happy at 180 pounds. I think this is a good weight for me. Maybe picking out an ideal at the beginning wasn’t the best idea for me personally because of my OCD tendencies. I see what a 45-year-old, 5’10”, 180-pound body can look like. I mentioned before that I don’t have Daniel Craig’s body yet but I am closer than I ever have been. I’m going to see how close I can get.
I am going to get lean, I am going to get strong and I am going to shred this fat.
Again with the reading. A few weeks ago I posted a link to an article discussing the five things nobody tells you about weight loss and one of the items mentioned that body image is the last thing to go. It was refreshing to read that I am not the only person who, after losing a substantial amount of weight, still saw the fat person in the mirror or still thought themselves fat.
I had gotten to the point where I didn’t see the fat guy in the mirror anymore and he returned. He’s gone for good this time. I proclaimed that I am no longer obese or overweight, but I am not “in shape.” I am not “fit.” I’m better. But I’m not all that I could be, not to sound like a military recruiting commercial. I like what I see in the mirror much more today than I have in a long, long time. I am wearing clothes I have not worn in a long time. I am worried about what’s “fashionable” for the first time in the history of ever. I can thank the new GQ subscription for that.
There’s an epic body image blog coming and I am going to tackle fitness and fat shaming.
I will endeavor to adjust the diet and go seriously protein heavy, I will do the things I need to do to shred the body fat and build muscle. I feel like a 180-pound Jell-o mold. Unfortunately, there’s always room for Jell-o. The form looks much better but it’s squishy when you push your finger into it.
I don’t know if getting ripped is something I can accomplish. Then again, there was a time I didn’t think I could lose weight or ever fit into 34-inch waist pants again. Age is but a number and I am sure there are men who are older than me that look like they could do well in a body-building competition. I still have my ideal. I guess I am just going to have to keep working toward it because I am not there yet. I would love to have six-pack abs. Maybe fellow bloggers have some advice for me. Hint hint. Working to achieve that, whether I do or not, can’t possibly be a bad thing. Cabana boy/Speedo body is achievable in time for suburban swimming pool season.
I always knew this was a journey that would never end although there were many times I wanted to have a destination. I’ll probably never be finished, and you know what, I am okay with that.